My girlfriend goes on dating sites
This stinks to high heaven. My family used to joke about how I always had a boyfriend and someone on deck. This is the type of thing I would have done. I'm not saying that your girlfriend is a shitty person to date but right now, she's acting that way. I agree that you should meet the other guy. I think you should really do a double date - he's in an open relationship? You should meet the person he is seeing too. That way, everyone might be able to get on the same page. But just to be clear, she is accepting applications for her next boyfriend. Introducing my current boyfriend to my future boyfriend is something I definitely did when I was a shitty person to date.
She may be lying to herself and you-- or she may be lying just to you. Check your parachute and hit the eject button, because this relationship is going down in flames, and the sooner you are completely away from her, the lower your percentage of third degree burns will be. She made a profile on OKcupid so she could meet a man. In my opinion, she's either cheating, or she's creating the opportunity to cheat.
It's like a guy who quit drinking but still goes to the bar to hang out. He's an idiot who will soon be drinking again.
And your girlfriend will soon be cheating. Don't bother meeting the other guy. What you really need to do is figure out what happens next in your relationship. What's going to change so that a year from now, she won't be looking for other men again. What about two years from now? This sucks, but it's better to find out now rather than later. I disagree with the people stating that she is "dating another man". I don't think we can tell that from what you have posted. I have kept my okcupid profile up through two long term relationships, and met many friends of both genders there while in a relationship.
I've never had an affair or left anyone for a friend I met through a dating site. You need to have a conversation with her, not about the fact that she crossed a line that seems clear from the fact that she feels bad and has deleted the profile, but about why she did this behind your back, and what she is looking to get from the relationship with this dude. If you guys can address the reasons why she did this you might be able to find a solution to her loneliness that you don't find so threatening.
Are you are the only person in her life right now? If so she might be both resentful and terrified of you leaving. She may have tried to make a friend completely separate from you to have someone 'safe' who will stay if you leave. If she is willing to be upfront with you and work to make you comfortable I'd say it's worth sticking with the relationship.
If she can't give any sort of answer, or is vague and defensive, dump her and move on with your life. Best case scenario, she surprises you with something totally innocent and easy to fix, like "I'm always begging you and my friends to go hiking but you are all homebodies.
The guy I'm seeing is still using dating sites. What should I do? | Life and style | The Guardian
I know I can't force you guys to go with me, but it's something I really miss doing. This man loves hiking and I don't know how to meet other hiking friends! She is trying to feel OK about what she's doing by being somewhat forthcoming - telling you about the OKCupid profile and the dates.
If you agree to meet him, she'll just feel relieved that she doesn't have to hide from you. It'll just embolden her to keep going further and further down that road. Don't put any kind of imprimatur on what she's doing if you aren't in fact OK with what she's doing. It sucks, but you have to talk to her and draw a line in the sand.
You should not ask to meet the guy. If she asks you to meet him or arranges for the three of you to get together and do something, then do it. In fact, that she hasn't already introduced you and has continued to see him one-on-one regularly a couple of times a week without introducing you is perhaps the biggest red flag of all. Meeting him at your request would accomplish nothing.
I just found out my girlfriend is on three dating sites: Ellie
It would not change the fact that she is dating him, it would not send a clear message that you are not comfortable with it, and it would not change his mind about dating her unless he has been, the entire time, in the dark about the fact that the woman he is dating has someone who thinks he's her boyfriend.
I cannot imagine a situation where you would meet the guy and suddenly you would be cool with your girlfriend dating him. What would you do if you met him? It's not the other guy you're having a problem with - it's your girlfriend who is dating the other guy. Heh, one of my friends has an asshole dad who is a great source of "shitmydadsays" type quotes.
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He has a specific one he said to me and my friend who have both faced similar situations. She's not going to let go of the first branch until she gets a firm grip on the next one" what followed was a long, sexist rant about how all women are like that, but the meat of that quote is really applicable here She's basically trying to play both sides of the fence here. She's bored with this relationship, but doesn't want to give up what she has until she has something else to fill the void that would be left if she just dumped you there's also a potential here for her just not wanting to be the person to initiate the breakup, ugh.
It's a bird in the hand Vs bird in the bush thing, and she's trying to get the potential reward without actually taking on any risk.
She's still got you and can probably just keep shopping. This might sound cynical, and like the worst possible read of the situation, but seriously i read through this post twice and that was all i could think.
She met a guy on a dating site, and she's going on dates with him as "friends". This isn't some old friend from highschool, or a work friends, or some other person she has some previous platonic relationship or excuse to be hanging out with. They were both on a dating site looking for people to date and they found eachother. Personally, i would think this relationship is toast if i was sitting in your chair. I would honestly highly prefer the person i was dating had just one-off fucked someone to them going on dates with them. Because that could just be impulsive "we wanted to have sex with eachother" Vs actual kindling the fire of a relationship date-y stuff like this.
Also, as some people have said above, you're completely minimizing her agency in this here. It's not just him pursuing and hanging out with her. This is an exchange, a dance. They're both doing this with eachother. He didn't like, steal her away from you or anything.
The guy I'm seeing is still using dating sites. What should I do?
They both went out shopping and now they're negotiating. I also lol at the not-future this likely has for your girlfriend if she leaves you for him, when his long distance relationship becomes a not-long distance one and she's left as the 3rd wheel in a unicorn type situation who will basically be sidelined for anything but sex. But hey, that's my cynical imagination It's not your problem now, she made her bed, let her lie in it. Well, I completely understand where you are coming from and to me it definitely sounds iffy and out of line.
I would let her know that you are uncomfortable with her continuing to see the guy and ask her to stop seeing him. Then if she doesn't stop, consider what to do from there i. I am sure there are rational explanations that could justify this, but I think she is keeping you on the line while she checks out other models of boyfriend. If the right friend comes along, you will be dumped. I would use this opportunity to think long and hard about what your future might be with this gal and if it isn't long term and rosy, adios.
Her behavior is shitty, and she is lying to you. She signed up for the site, met a guy off of it, and THEN told you about it? I am listed as in a relationship and I also say in my "about me" that I am in a relationship and am only interested in making friends. I still get plenty of messages from men who are interested in dating or casual sex. You are not overreacting. I'm going to assume that she's lonely because you and she aren't physically together right now.
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Here's a fun way to find out what's really going on: You should be able to tell a lot from her reaction, which will likely be very negative. If it is positive, go through with it and see if it stays positive once you've met a woman from OKCupid in real life. Probably better to just let her know that you're not comfortable dating someone who's actively meeting people from a dating site, that you know she's lonely because you can't be there, and so you think it's best if you break up.
Then stick to your guns, and go get someone you can spend time with who doesn't do what she's done.